Laziness Does Not Exist
I just love the book “The F*ck It Diet” by Caroline Dooner on how “eating should be easy”. In her seemingly counter-intuitive approach to “simply eat whatever you want” she takes on the issues of dieting and diet culture, and offers a path to healing ones’ relationship with food.
Early in my career, I spent 3 years working only with people diagnosed with eating disorders (the book is not written more for those with disordered eating), but with that as my training ground, I was just feeling so much “YES” while I listened to this book.
There is so much Caroline writes that resonates with me in terms of what I discovered and continue (years later) integrating about our messed up messaging around food. She really names intuitions I’d had, and I loved listening to the research that she presents to back it up.
Caroline describes the journey to healthy eating: “Eat. Whatever you want. Honor your appetite and listen to your hunger. Trust that your body knows what it is doing. Oh, and don’t forget to rest, breathe, and be kind to yourself while you’re at it.”
She explains that many people (those who have been dieting through any form of physical or psychological restriction) are living in a survival mode because our bodies are hardwired to fight against any form of restriction.
This might sound obvious, but you’d not believe the number people who I unconsciously saying some form of: I am “lazy/weak/undisciplined/self-punishing” simply because they ate rice or pasta or ate till they were feeling full.
It can feel like a real uphill battle to address it once you are have properly framed the issue. We tend to root so deeply into our beliefs, especially ones that surround food and self-criticism. But once you realize that more people are keen to label themselves as having “binge eating disorder” (a VERY rare disorder) than admit to themselves that they are in some way restricting (the very cause of binging)…you have to learn how to break it down…and this is what this book helps you to do.
Binging is the body’s natural response to restriction. After the 2 years I spent practically living at the eating disorders center, I never saw a single guest who was “lazy” and didn’t care that they were over-eating. Rarely did people with eating disorders need any more nutritional education based on what-not-to-eat. Many had an incredible level of nutritional knoweldge based on what calories and food groups you need.
I heard of people spending thousands of dollars on binge foods eaten in one night. I saw countless people berate themselves for a binge and then double-down on their belief that losing weight is the key to eternal bliss. Depsite of how extreme the binges can be, one thing is clear: it’s the initial restriction that is the self-harm. The binge is your body’s physiological attempt to set things straight. All binges begin with restriction.
So, whether it’s constantly trying to eat the smallest amount possible, eating only fruit & veg, meat & veg or restricting whatever food group diet or biohacking culture claim to be “toxic” at the moment, dieting is not just a trigger for mental health issues… it also doesn’t “work”. We used to tell the guests at the center “If you need a left-brain reason to start eating as much as you want and need – know that eating until you are full is the only way not to raise your body’s set point”.
Once you get yourself out of survival mode, and restore your body’s trust, it will become easier and easier to eat what your body really needs, but before then, you have to regain that trust by eating what you want. I have never had an eating disorder, but I still carry endless beliefs about what is “healthy” and I relate so much to struggling with knowing what’s most true when so many doctors and health professionals subscribe to completely conflicting ideas. That’s why I love that this one is about centering the knowing in your body beyond all else.
I also love keeping in mind that not everything you eat has to be “healthy,” as what is healthy for your life is sometimes enjoying something you don’t even need!
I highly recommend the book and you could also check out The F*ck It Podcast here:
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“Circlework provided for me a space to reflect and feel connected to myself and other women. To be able to take that feeling—that space—with me day to day provided me with a sense of empowerment and reassurance to any challenges I may face.”
-NADIA, VANCOUVER, BC